Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
