Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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