So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
