Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I have feelings that need drinking.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
