dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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