im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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