they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
My balls are so social today.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
