Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
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