i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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