Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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