If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
