Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
