Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Rumble strips road head = magical
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
