we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
