And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
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