Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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