? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
