Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Randomize
