Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
