He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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