His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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