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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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