This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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