It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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