i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
