what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
