So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
