so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
