PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
