I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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