covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'm sobbing to NWA
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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