actually, I'm a sock model
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
be right there i have to get my cape
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
