I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
