Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
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