Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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