I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
