So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
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