Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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