i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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