their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Randomize
