I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
So gin and wine won't be happening again
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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