yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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