at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
should my penis look like a turkey
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
