Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
