I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
