"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
and i looked up. we had an audience...
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
