next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
