Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
