If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
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