I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
