Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Randomize
