We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
