The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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